Hey Worthy Soil friends welcome back to The Garden,
Happy August. I am really in disbelief that we are in the second half of the year. You know this second half fly’s! In my family there are so many birthday’s October - December so it’s just non-stop celebrating and getting together with my inner circle.
Oh talking about inner circle, the last time I was here I talked about tending to your soil and how that includes knowing who your support system is. Another term I use for “support system” is inner circle. I find a lot of strength in my inner circle and sometimes popular culture can set an expectation that you are supposed to handle all things alone, independently and without any support. Almost like if you look for support it is a form of weakness. That could not be further from the truth.
A little history…
Did you know that we were wired for connection? If you think back in history humans have always lived in groups, in close proximity - if you think of a baby, they need their mother to literally be formed and developed and when they’re born they need a parent to help them survive. As we grow, the need for connection doesn’t disappear, it changes. However, as the world has become more developed and modern it has shifted from community living to independent living. With that change has also come elevated levels of loneliness, depression and feelings of anxiety.
All this to say, making time and being intentional with seeing your inner circle is all the more important. Many of us have busy schedules and lives; some of us don’t know how to communicate our need for connection so we avoid it or look for it in the wrong places and others can feel like we don’t even know where to start.
One thing, deep breath. It is never too late to start making efforts. EFFORTS, that is the word. We can become stuck on making progress and that will come in due time, it first starts with efforts.
- Begin with identifying who are those individuals in your life that you would consider to be people who are positive, speak truth, want the best for you, are trustworthy. Don’t look for community and support from people just because of their exterior/external strengths but look at their inner strengths, their character.
- If you have a hard time communicating your desire to connect, write a couple ways you can say you want to connect and role play it (practice saying it outloud- it is not weird, promise).
- Do not rely on texting, CALL! If you can’t see your support system in person to share your desire to connect, CALL THEM! I know most of us do not call or accept calls (LOL) but I promise this is the better way to be intentional about making time to connect with your inner circle.
- Stick to the date. Especially after the pandemic, many of us may have gotten comfortable staying in and can even start second guessing following through on plans we’ve made…so many thoughts like, “i’m tired,” “I’ll just reschedule.” No, no, no… remember why your inner circle is important to you? Why did you set this date in the first place?
Remember, you weren’t meant to do life alone, you were made for connection and community.
PS A couple of ways to express desire to connect:
- Hey, we haven’t seen each other in a while, would love for us to get together. What dates work for you?
- Hey, I’ve missed hanging out. Let’s get together, what day next week/month works for you?
Let me know if you try any of these!