Do you believe that you can change the atmosphere, the energy, vibe, feeling wherever you go?
My answer to that is, YES. I believe we each carry our own callings, gifting’s, and/or traits that make us world changers. However, to change the world you have to start somewhere. Being aware of how you impact your relationships is a perfect place to start.
In just some recent years, I have changed so much. I’ve gotten to know myself more and reflecting has become a tool for me to continue my personal development.
I used to be super passive aggressive (still working on it). I didn’t like confrontation, I didn’t like awkward or silent moments because of the discomfort it caused me. I wanted peace and harmony so I’d often overlook my own feelings for the sake of keeping things peaceful. Which doesn’t seem so bad but often things would build up until I either emotionally checked out and ended up not caring, I lost commitment for the relationship and/or I blew up over the tiniest thing.
I had this idea of conflict as something super negative and overwhelming. And though I thought that I was doing something good (keeping things “peaceful”) I really wasn’t. What I was really doing was sabotaging my relationships and not giving us the chance to build our relationship stronger. I was neglecting my own feelings, which caused me to distance myself from people I loved or vise versa cause others to distance themselves from me. Remember that vibe/energy thing? Yea people feel it, and they felt my disconnection so they disconnected too.
Now, I try to see my feelings, thoughts and conflict as something positive that allows for relationship building. Checking in with myself helps a lot. Reminding myself that I’m coming from a secure place, that conflict does not mean volcano eruption followed by massive destruction. My brother/sisters aren’t going to change their whole way of being with me because of a disagreement. My friends aren’t going to real-life unfriend me because we didn’t see eye to eye on something.
We influence our relationships every day. Becoming aware of ourselves and our challenges makes it easier to realize how we influence those relationships and areas we may have to work on.
***PS. Relationships are definitely a two way street. Unhealthy relationships require more precaution and sometimes it’s not that you aren’t ready to problem solve and hash it out, sometimes the other person is going through their own process and may not be ready. Awareness is key.